Gone But Not Forgotten is the final section of the website “Remembering Pam” but for me it has just been the beginning of my life without her. Individual bereavement counseling and similar help in a group of others grieving a loss also helped but I needed something else to enjoy the 37 years of our lives that we spent together. That something else has been creating this website “Remembering Pam”. It saddens me that I know little about my parents early years and also my own adult years once I went away to college. This website is an attempt to bring back family, friends and others sketches of her life to keep her in mind in the coming years.

One of Pam’s favorite places to spend time was at the Self Realization Fellowship Gardens overlooking the ocean from high above in Encinitas, California. Below you will find a couple of photos of her enjoying quiet time walking the gardens and meditating there high above the ocean.

Paramahansa Yogananda once said:

“Death is only an experience through which you are meant to learn a great lesson; you cannot die.”.

In September, I plan on going to “Swami’s” and walk again with Pam.

Above, I mentioned how our blended families brought us comfort and joy and the 11th of August last year was void of comfort and joy. But only 4 days later on August 15th, 2020, spread out on a lawn somewhere in a park in California, was a blanket covered with flowers and a large unpacked picnic basket. It had nuts and fruits, assorted cheeses and a knife to slice them, and pictures of Pam and our first grandchild, Alexis Hamilton. Alexis and her boyfriend Kyle put this together, with a book and a copy of Mary Oliver’s favorite poem, “A Summer Day”. They added a large bottle of ‘Menage a Trois’ that was Pam’s and my favorite everyday wine. And they remembered Pam.

This wonderful Summer Picnic Shrine on August 15th helped me get through those difficult weeks during the summer and fall of 2020. You will find the picture of that Picnic Shrine here in the last section “Remembering Pam”.

Passing away is the future that each and everyone of us on this planet will face and hopefully we will be given at least the same time card that Pam experienced - 80 years or even more. Now that she’s absent, away and departed, it’s time to honor the person that we all had the enjoyment of being connected to while she was here.

For me, I was initially attracted to Pam’s beauty and intelligence but once we had committed to each other, I discovered that I was with a woman who was someone distinct from others in a lot of special ways. She was not only quiet but she was an extraordinary listener. And that turned out to be the foundation of her success as a therapist. And she loved, enjoyed and honored family, especially her two sons and their families. Pam and I had the good fortune of each of our families blending successfully which helped fill our 37 years with comfort and joy.